Fingers Crossed
Today is the big day for a gamecock fan. We have nearly overcome Georgia this season and came out smelling like slightly decayed roses against Tennessee. Which is met with great approval if you are from Carolina and bleed Garnet. We head to tailgate with hope that the day might bring another victory over the Florida Gators. We kneel to the ground and pray to our Spurrier Idol affixed in the middle of the tailgate, Our Kegs.
Last year we began the tradition of Kegs and Eggs, which went poorly last year and as we all know when things go poorly our group loves to test the waters several more times, like a young child grabbing for light bulb that has been burning throughout the day. As we make our way to the tailgate I received a call from Lynn saying, “We brought a beer pong table but forgot the ping pong balls.” I being myself begun to curse everyone at the tailgate because everyone there was involved in forgetting the damn balls and how the hell do you bring a table and just assume that someone will know to bring the balls, those cheap bastards. The food cooks, the beer flows, the ping pong balls glide threw the autumn air as if gravity were no more. It is the best time of year you could ask for and a more beautiful day couldn’t be found on earth. As my soberness begins to give way to the beer a familiar urge sets in midway through the first beer pong game. It is my slight addiction to my oh so faithful friend Jose, last name, Cuervo and I come to the realization that I have left him at home in the freezer. If you have ever seen a grown man suddenly become a 5 year old standing in the candy isle being denied by his mother from the goody goody gum drops, you missed your chance on Saturday. The game chugs on as Paq and I begin to brutalize Dixon and Trey, who could already blow a 1.5 blood alcohol level at 10:35am. Dixon begins bless us out for cheating because our arms are longer and our follow through oh so smooth, yelling out “Over the line Donny, mark it as foul.” After the words have been thrown back and forth, threatening of jaws being broken, along with the glass quality of Dixon’s miller lite to my head equations are exchanged or analyzed Dixon, and what was left of Trey, admitted defeat. The day carries on and I notice that G my roommate is totting a cooler, and my eyes light up like a Christmas tree on a late December morning, I can’t remember what date Christmas is on. G raises the bottle out of the cooler as if to say the world is his and the rays of sun sparkle off of the water dripping from square edged bottle. My day along with everyone else’s just got a little worse.
Everyone leaves for the game as those of us unfortunate enough to not have tickets set up the TV. Bottles are sipped on, beers a refilled as we gather around to watch. Out of no where a burly redneck (Jason) with an 18+ month goatee taps me on the shoulder to ask if he can join us for the game. He bribes the group by commenting that he has several bottles of wine and liquor a few steps away and we are more than welcome to any of it. A few minutes later he shows up sporting two bottles of Boone farm Green Apple. In the back of my mind I wonder how the hell he found those bottles and how hard the cashier at Winn Dixie laughed at him after he carried away the bottles in plastic bags. Jason turns out to be just another good ole boy who likes to clang away at the liquor bottles. As G insists on a shot of tequila after every first down the day begins to blur away. More beer pong more Jose and chalk up one more win for the Carolina Gamecocks. Myself, the tailgate patrons, and the rest of the Carolina fans have just committed to a long night of heavy drinking. As day turns into night my memory evades me. I remember Simons putting his arm around me and then for some reason my $140 pair of Oakley’s missing an ear piece, simon's head smacking the garbage can the TV being knocked over by my ass. A few punches were thrown and for no reason, Dixon was cold cocked by Simon’s friend who left soon after.
For those of you who don’t know Stephen is a dear friend of mine from freshman year at Anderson College. Whenever the two of us get together its like we revert to being 12 and petty arguments and fights break out constantly. He is like an aching pain or irritated rash that wont go away until you rip it out or cut it off. On the way to dinner from the tailgate Stephen proceeds to poke and prod me to death in the back seat of Small’s car. After a few minutes of this I begin insert my thumb into Stephens trachea while trying to either crack open his head or break the window of the back seat whichever came first. We eat dinner and the ride home was quite the same. After a well deserved nap I wake up to an empty house, a headache, and a ringing phone from friends convincing me I haven’t had enough to drink. We make our way downtown only to find out that every bar is packed to its fullest capacity and damnit all I want is some beer. We head to chubby’s then to Rocco’s and get our swerve on, dancing to the music pointing and laughing. All the while Trey is faced with a huge dilemma. You see up until a week ago Trey was a virgin and he got drunk enough to take some older woman to a hotel. Well Saturday night she made her way out with us and did not leave Trey’s side even for a minute. After waiting through the bathroom line with her lover and singing the words to Zoom by LL Cool J, she to like a rash, was annoying. After Trey wiggles through social circles and different conversations ,trying to shake the Pandora’s box he so regretfully opened, he gives up on being left alone and for the first time in his life has to give into going home with someone, who knew. It only took a matter of time before one of us laid into her. Paquette, under his breath says, “Hey, Pun, She’s a little crazy”, and begins to quack like a duck. The night windled down, beers empty, shots taken we proceed home.
Arriving home the phone erupts from its silence. Oh shit Jackie’s drunk. I answer the phone only to hear mumbling in some other conversation. Minutes go by as she realizes I’ve already hung up. She calls back only to see if i'm still drinking and or wish to take her to platinum plus. What a girl she is. Her friends take the phone and her home, and another game day in the heart of Carolina is concluded.
Last year we began the tradition of Kegs and Eggs, which went poorly last year and as we all know when things go poorly our group loves to test the waters several more times, like a young child grabbing for light bulb that has been burning throughout the day. As we make our way to the tailgate I received a call from Lynn saying, “We brought a beer pong table but forgot the ping pong balls.” I being myself begun to curse everyone at the tailgate because everyone there was involved in forgetting the damn balls and how the hell do you bring a table and just assume that someone will know to bring the balls, those cheap bastards. The food cooks, the beer flows, the ping pong balls glide threw the autumn air as if gravity were no more. It is the best time of year you could ask for and a more beautiful day couldn’t be found on earth. As my soberness begins to give way to the beer a familiar urge sets in midway through the first beer pong game. It is my slight addiction to my oh so faithful friend Jose, last name, Cuervo and I come to the realization that I have left him at home in the freezer. If you have ever seen a grown man suddenly become a 5 year old standing in the candy isle being denied by his mother from the goody goody gum drops, you missed your chance on Saturday. The game chugs on as Paq and I begin to brutalize Dixon and Trey, who could already blow a 1.5 blood alcohol level at 10:35am. Dixon begins bless us out for cheating because our arms are longer and our follow through oh so smooth, yelling out “Over the line Donny, mark it as foul.” After the words have been thrown back and forth, threatening of jaws being broken, along with the glass quality of Dixon’s miller lite to my head equations are exchanged or analyzed Dixon, and what was left of Trey, admitted defeat. The day carries on and I notice that G my roommate is totting a cooler, and my eyes light up like a Christmas tree on a late December morning, I can’t remember what date Christmas is on. G raises the bottle out of the cooler as if to say the world is his and the rays of sun sparkle off of the water dripping from square edged bottle. My day along with everyone else’s just got a little worse.
Everyone leaves for the game as those of us unfortunate enough to not have tickets set up the TV. Bottles are sipped on, beers a refilled as we gather around to watch. Out of no where a burly redneck (Jason) with an 18+ month goatee taps me on the shoulder to ask if he can join us for the game. He bribes the group by commenting that he has several bottles of wine and liquor a few steps away and we are more than welcome to any of it. A few minutes later he shows up sporting two bottles of Boone farm Green Apple. In the back of my mind I wonder how the hell he found those bottles and how hard the cashier at Winn Dixie laughed at him after he carried away the bottles in plastic bags. Jason turns out to be just another good ole boy who likes to clang away at the liquor bottles. As G insists on a shot of tequila after every first down the day begins to blur away. More beer pong more Jose and chalk up one more win for the Carolina Gamecocks. Myself, the tailgate patrons, and the rest of the Carolina fans have just committed to a long night of heavy drinking. As day turns into night my memory evades me. I remember Simons putting his arm around me and then for some reason my $140 pair of Oakley’s missing an ear piece, simon's head smacking the garbage can the TV being knocked over by my ass. A few punches were thrown and for no reason, Dixon was cold cocked by Simon’s friend who left soon after.
For those of you who don’t know Stephen is a dear friend of mine from freshman year at Anderson College. Whenever the two of us get together its like we revert to being 12 and petty arguments and fights break out constantly. He is like an aching pain or irritated rash that wont go away until you rip it out or cut it off. On the way to dinner from the tailgate Stephen proceeds to poke and prod me to death in the back seat of Small’s car. After a few minutes of this I begin insert my thumb into Stephens trachea while trying to either crack open his head or break the window of the back seat whichever came first. We eat dinner and the ride home was quite the same. After a well deserved nap I wake up to an empty house, a headache, and a ringing phone from friends convincing me I haven’t had enough to drink. We make our way downtown only to find out that every bar is packed to its fullest capacity and damnit all I want is some beer. We head to chubby’s then to Rocco’s and get our swerve on, dancing to the music pointing and laughing. All the while Trey is faced with a huge dilemma. You see up until a week ago Trey was a virgin and he got drunk enough to take some older woman to a hotel. Well Saturday night she made her way out with us and did not leave Trey’s side even for a minute. After waiting through the bathroom line with her lover and singing the words to Zoom by LL Cool J, she to like a rash, was annoying. After Trey wiggles through social circles and different conversations ,trying to shake the Pandora’s box he so regretfully opened, he gives up on being left alone and for the first time in his life has to give into going home with someone, who knew. It only took a matter of time before one of us laid into her. Paquette, under his breath says, “Hey, Pun, She’s a little crazy”, and begins to quack like a duck. The night windled down, beers empty, shots taken we proceed home.
Arriving home the phone erupts from its silence. Oh shit Jackie’s drunk. I answer the phone only to hear mumbling in some other conversation. Minutes go by as she realizes I’ve already hung up. She calls back only to see if i'm still drinking and or wish to take her to platinum plus. What a girl she is. Her friends take the phone and her home, and another game day in the heart of Carolina is concluded.
posted by Pun at 11/18/2005 12:21:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home