Resignations and Deep Throat

Disclaimer: I have made the mistake of giving family members the address to this site. If you wish to not be disturbed please disregard the following post. In other words

MOM, DO NOT READ THIS DAMNIT!!!!

Last night I had my second meeting with Big Brothers and Big Sisters, to become a big brother. On the first meeting I had meet a lovely lady around my age who I had hoped would be at the meeting last night and was. I had planned to make myself available in a sleazy way to the beaut. The following is how last night played out.

I met Trace at the Starbucks and began our interview with a couple of documents that needed to be signed. I was quickly interrupted with a phone call from a previous interview for a new job.

Phone Conversation with potential Employer.

Pun – Hello

Mac – Hi, Pun How are you?

Pun – Doing well thank you, how are you?

Mac – Doing fairly well, how would you like to come work for us.

(Fist Pump, Jig, Break dance, odd stares from local street life)

Pun – It would be my pleasure, thank you very much.

Mac – The starting salary is three times as much as you make now.

Pun – That sounds like enough. (Under my breath I am screaming, I’m bout to get paid bitch.)

Mac – You’ll need to take a drug test within the next three days, call me in the morning to get the number.

Pun – Thanks again, I’ll speak with you in the morning.

(More fist pumps and stares)

I returned to the interview and thought of asking Trace to leave for a beer but thought that she might not be a drinker or it might not be the most indelible impression as a soon to be big brother. So the interview proceeds on trying to impress her with funny stories and so on. One of the questions being, how do you invision meeting your Little Brother for the first time.

Pun – It might be a little awkward but I would have dinner with the family to break the ice.

Trace – Don’t you remember I told you we would go together to the home for dinner.

Pun – Sorry I am on cloud nine right now.

Trace – I am not having dinner alone with you.

Pun – I meant to talk to you about that after the interview.

The interview continued on and after she asked if I would walk her to her car, because of the foot traffic parading the streets. I did and went home calling everyone in my phone book willing to have their eardrums burst as I hollered “I’m bout to get paid nigga.” I assembled the crew in town and we head to Chubbies 16 x 84 x 57 x 73. Tequila, beer, and more shots were consumed in my honor. Camron made an appearance and had a lovely dame with him, who’s boobs were sufficiently exceeding her shirt. The night progressed and while a lull was in the conversation as there usually are with women. Katherine says to me, “ I can do a trick with your beer bottle.” With Julien, and I’s attention I handed over the bottle and she began to deep throat it. As I pushed back specific urges my jaw hit my crotch area and didn’t help the situation. We were both speechless and my next comment was I bet you didn’t learn how to do that on a bottle. She hands me my beer back and as I take a sip of my beer which tastes better because her trachea juices are on it, Camron makes the smooth comment that her ex boyfriend had herpes. Sweet. So I gather the guys around again and say, “Hey ya’ll watch this.” She repeats previous action with fresh beer bottle and I am not deterred from drinking the beer. The night passes on and I realize I have a job to attend in the morning. I head home.

Now I am off to resign from my current employer.