Man Down, Man Down

The following is an actual 911 recording taped on the evening of October 18, 2006...


911: 911 What is your emerg....

Caller: Code RED, I repeat code RED... MAN DOWN, MAN DOWN.

911: Sir, Do you have an emergency?

Caller: There are floral imprints and old ass reclining leather coaches everywhere, send someone fast they are going to sell his nice big comfy couches in a yard sale.

911: Sir, is anyone hurt or in danger?

Caller: There is a small child here being babysat. I think she has Lynn in training for a baby.

911: Is the child alright sir?

Caller: It's not the child its my f...r...i...e...n...d, his girlfriend moved in and took over. HE's gonna DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE. Send somebody now. Hurry I can see his balls in a jar on the counter. OH MY GOD HE'S BEEN CASTRATED.

911: Sir..

Caller: Call the Law for God sakes! Send the Mayor! Oh no, she brought in her 18th century antiques, its too LATE!!!