Red Dots..... The indian kind.
I was invited to my second Indian wedding this past weekend for a friend from college. These things are traditionally a little crazy, this coming from my own experience and from conversation with others.
I got really excited when in the middle of the week, I learned about some of the guest list. These people I haven't seen in forever. It was a reuniting of the alcoholics from across the world. Jewell and Costner are coming across the country. Nevin is in town from China, and not to mention that the groom has come back from Germany. Before even coming to Greenville, Friday night, I knew that I would be making the most of every minute in the 48 hours id be spending there!
The first night was the normal antics from our regular clowns. Shot after shot after bourbon drink or beer. There were new people in the crowd, wives and girlfriends I had yet to met. We hit two am grabbed some food and hit the road to Bills condo. This place is awesome and includes a roof top deck that over looks the Drive baseball stadium. This was in use till about 5am.
The next morning i was reluctant to start the day because of two main reasons. I was lying in an unbelievably comfortable tempupedic bed and ahead of me was a 3.5 mile walk in 100 plus degree weather back to our cars. So the next statement should not surprise you when i say that Watson and I were running late to the reception.
We still had to make a crucial stop and the ABC store to make an all important alcohol purchase. The night before I was informed that it was customary to drink out of the back of your car when an Indian wedding includes a cash bar. The more and more I learn about this fascinating culture, the more I realize we are all a little redneck.
The wedding lived up to its potential. Amazing Indian cuisine. A rocking dance floor. A really crazy super energetic DJ playing funky Indian tunes. There was even the odd cousin, who gave a speech no on understood about long lasting love, marriage, and obscure stories about the bride and groom. I thought about doing everyone a favor and dragging him off the floor by his Three stooges tie.
But the wedding wouldn't be complete without one of our friends completely overdoing it at the reception. This time it was Chief, aka Paul aka, Ari Gold. I'm pretty sure he was drunk before he showed up at the wedding. He has us rolling the whole night. Clapping before the end of speeches, inappropriate comments towards people we didn't know, and stumbling about the reception area.
The night goes off without a hook and unbeknownst to me there was an after party at the hotel where everyone was staying. Our alcohol purchase from earlier was about to pay off big. We made our way to the hotel and realized that the party had just changed venues. Everyone was there and we had the whole 5th floor to ourselves. Each room had a sitting area, bedroom, and its on interior balcony where you looked down to the courtyard. Watson and I decided to add to guest list and get a room.
It was almost like we had gone back in time to the hall. New faces and people had recreated an old hall party except this time there were far more Indians and the male, female ratio had balanced out. Somehow Chief was still going strong. Thank God we had all the rooms on this floor. He was even insulting people in our party that he had seen at the weddings as they walked down the hall. He was running up and down the hall beating on others doors and finally passed on in Poulson's room.
Any good dranking night will eventually lead to food. Somehow Faiyaz pulled a few chicken wings but this wasn't enough for the group. I tried to get us a cab to waffle house for 14 people. The front desk pointed me toward a cab company. This guy quoted me a $48 fare round trip and it will take at least 2 of them to get us all there.
After a while one of Faiyaz's cousin, or one of the other Indians still awake asked me to watch over the bride and grooms room. She had decked it out for a proper first night with some pretty naughty things. A blow up doll in the bathroom, and blowjob placards on the door knob. While did this she made a secret trip to WAHO. The drinking continued and 45 minutes later she walked in with a massive pile of waffle house and the roof erupted. I haven't seen that many hash brown orders or grilled cheeses with egg in one placed. We were like pigs in a trough. There was also no silverware. So we were eating hot hash browns with our fingers.
The night went on and people started hit the sack. We decided to move rooms and realized we were encroaching in on Chiefs nap time. He was sprawled out all over the pull out bed in the den of Poulson's room. I tried to get the bed to fold up with him in it, but he didn't flinch. We messed around for a few more minutes and Nisha, Mayur's wife, said lets put him on the roof like the hangover. We immediately gathered the four sides of the matters and tried to pick him up. Then we dropped him. It was a little sad for a minute and we soon realized that the roof was out of reach. We opened the sliding door and drag him out to the patio. He grunted a bit but was still incoherent. We ran out like school girls closing the door behind us and we around to the hall where we could see him. There may have been some Cheetos tossed on him and eventually he awakened and began to eat them.
We retired to our room with the Poulsons and soon we heard him scrounging around the hallway. He was knocking on peoples doors who he didn't know in a blanket. He finally makes it to our room and we can see a wedding guest with her luggage walk past trying to make it to her 6 am flight back home. I'm not sure chief knew what was going on.
We finally let him into the room and Christine asked him, are you naked under the blanket. He looked at us surprisingly as if he didn't know that there was any blanket and said, "maybe"!
At about 630am, I finally kicked everyone out, because I am way to old to be up that late, two nights in a row!
PS - There is a video of this hangover remake somewhere!
I got really excited when in the middle of the week, I learned about some of the guest list. These people I haven't seen in forever. It was a reuniting of the alcoholics from across the world. Jewell and Costner are coming across the country. Nevin is in town from China, and not to mention that the groom has come back from Germany. Before even coming to Greenville, Friday night, I knew that I would be making the most of every minute in the 48 hours id be spending there!
The first night was the normal antics from our regular clowns. Shot after shot after bourbon drink or beer. There were new people in the crowd, wives and girlfriends I had yet to met. We hit two am grabbed some food and hit the road to Bills condo. This place is awesome and includes a roof top deck that over looks the Drive baseball stadium. This was in use till about 5am.
The next morning i was reluctant to start the day because of two main reasons. I was lying in an unbelievably comfortable tempupedic bed and ahead of me was a 3.5 mile walk in 100 plus degree weather back to our cars. So the next statement should not surprise you when i say that Watson and I were running late to the reception.
We still had to make a crucial stop and the ABC store to make an all important alcohol purchase. The night before I was informed that it was customary to drink out of the back of your car when an Indian wedding includes a cash bar. The more and more I learn about this fascinating culture, the more I realize we are all a little redneck.
The wedding lived up to its potential. Amazing Indian cuisine. A rocking dance floor. A really crazy super energetic DJ playing funky Indian tunes. There was even the odd cousin, who gave a speech no on understood about long lasting love, marriage, and obscure stories about the bride and groom. I thought about doing everyone a favor and dragging him off the floor by his Three stooges tie.
But the wedding wouldn't be complete without one of our friends completely overdoing it at the reception. This time it was Chief, aka Paul aka, Ari Gold. I'm pretty sure he was drunk before he showed up at the wedding. He has us rolling the whole night. Clapping before the end of speeches, inappropriate comments towards people we didn't know, and stumbling about the reception area.
The night goes off without a hook and unbeknownst to me there was an after party at the hotel where everyone was staying. Our alcohol purchase from earlier was about to pay off big. We made our way to the hotel and realized that the party had just changed venues. Everyone was there and we had the whole 5th floor to ourselves. Each room had a sitting area, bedroom, and its on interior balcony where you looked down to the courtyard. Watson and I decided to add to guest list and get a room.
It was almost like we had gone back in time to the hall. New faces and people had recreated an old hall party except this time there were far more Indians and the male, female ratio had balanced out. Somehow Chief was still going strong. Thank God we had all the rooms on this floor. He was even insulting people in our party that he had seen at the weddings as they walked down the hall. He was running up and down the hall beating on others doors and finally passed on in Poulson's room.
Any good dranking night will eventually lead to food. Somehow Faiyaz pulled a few chicken wings but this wasn't enough for the group. I tried to get us a cab to waffle house for 14 people. The front desk pointed me toward a cab company. This guy quoted me a $48 fare round trip and it will take at least 2 of them to get us all there.
After a while one of Faiyaz's cousin, or one of the other Indians still awake asked me to watch over the bride and grooms room. She had decked it out for a proper first night with some pretty naughty things. A blow up doll in the bathroom, and blowjob placards on the door knob. While did this she made a secret trip to WAHO. The drinking continued and 45 minutes later she walked in with a massive pile of waffle house and the roof erupted. I haven't seen that many hash brown orders or grilled cheeses with egg in one placed. We were like pigs in a trough. There was also no silverware. So we were eating hot hash browns with our fingers.
The night went on and people started hit the sack. We decided to move rooms and realized we were encroaching in on Chiefs nap time. He was sprawled out all over the pull out bed in the den of Poulson's room. I tried to get the bed to fold up with him in it, but he didn't flinch. We messed around for a few more minutes and Nisha, Mayur's wife, said lets put him on the roof like the hangover. We immediately gathered the four sides of the matters and tried to pick him up. Then we dropped him. It was a little sad for a minute and we soon realized that the roof was out of reach. We opened the sliding door and drag him out to the patio. He grunted a bit but was still incoherent. We ran out like school girls closing the door behind us and we around to the hall where we could see him. There may have been some Cheetos tossed on him and eventually he awakened and began to eat them.
We retired to our room with the Poulsons and soon we heard him scrounging around the hallway. He was knocking on peoples doors who he didn't know in a blanket. He finally makes it to our room and we can see a wedding guest with her luggage walk past trying to make it to her 6 am flight back home. I'm not sure chief knew what was going on.
We finally let him into the room and Christine asked him, are you naked under the blanket. He looked at us surprisingly as if he didn't know that there was any blanket and said, "maybe"!
At about 630am, I finally kicked everyone out, because I am way to old to be up that late, two nights in a row!
PS - There is a video of this hangover remake somewhere!
posted by Pun at 7/24/2011 03:32:00 PM
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