I may really be a heartless asshole!

There is a little back story to this, so lets hop right in and bring you up to speed. I purchased my house a little over a year and a half ago. When I moved into the house I realized that my neighbor direclty across the street happened to be one of the bartenders from chubbys. I was glad to already know one of my new neighbors, even though I never saw him outside of the bar. Every so often I would see him at the house, walking the dog or driving to work. Summer came around and I admit for the first month maybe two, I borrowed a good friends lawnmower. Now keep in mind I never see or talk to this guy outside of the bar and other than paying my tab and giving hand gestures that I am ready for another double bourbon, I have absolutely no communication with said bartender.

So after a few uses of my friends lawnmower, and seeing as how I would need to continue using this device for as long as I own my home, I decided that I should probably purchase my own lawnmower. Direclty after doing so, my neighbor began to ask to borrow my lawnmower. Initally I had absolutely no problem with this. I was glad to let him use it. Maybe his was broken, times are hard, hell maybe this will get me a free bourbon drink, etc. Those are all great reasons to lend out your lawnmower. He only asks to borrow the lawnmower after the grass gets to above knee height, so driving between the house I came to expect his presence and requests for the lawnmower.

I am not sure if there is a time limit on this becoming annoying for regularly tempered people, or if there even is a hard fast rule on how often you can borrow someone elses lawn equipment. If there is, I am sure that my timeframes are much shorter. Do you compare it to lending someone a DVD that you dont really watch anymore? People have been known to keep those for years, then they are just accused of them stealing your possesion. Or is this scenario more like borrowing somones car? If so this guy owes me the federally mandated .49 cents a mile for the use of my lawnmower. I would say its probably somewhere in between the two.

This has gone on for the past year and has become increasingly annoying with my present employment. I am only home for a week a month, if that, and everytime I am home I anticipate him coming to the house to ask me for the lawnmower. This seems ridiculous, right. I mean even when I say it aloud I know that this shouldnt be something that pisses me off, but it does. Maybe its the way he "asks", like he is intitled to my shit, because he serves me drinks. I dont get it.

Two days ago when he came to the house he told me that he got a ticket and needed to borrow my lawnmower becuase the city had fined him for his grass. First of all, I dont care. Its no my fine. Secondly, he doesnt own the house. So he cant be fined for grass that isnt his. This time I have had it. There is no sign on my house that says free lawnmower rental, or please come borrow my possesions with no compensation. Over the past year I have not seen one free drink, or any offer to thank me for its use.

Wait. It literally just hit me. This situation pisses me off for the following reason. This guy has no moral conflict with continuing to take advantage of the fact that I am allowing him to borrow the lawnmower. He doesnt have the switch in his brain that says, I am a fucking bum. I should probably stop fragently using my neighbor's/ bar patron's, who pays my bills anyway, lawnmower. I feel as thougth I need to set a precedent. People like this dont learn lessons.

So what am I to do. In my world I have four options. I could buy him a lawnmower. Fuck that! I could continue to lend him the lawnmower for as long as we both live there. Fuck that! I could polietely say go buy your own lawnmower. Not offensive enough!

-or-

I could post a sign on my front door. I think the sign will read something like this...

McCarter's TOOL RENTAL INC. (McTR)

Please be advised that lawn equiment can now be rented for your personal use. Below are the set non-negotiable prices for lawn equiment rental. A refundable deposit of $200.00 is due upon each agreement.

Push Lawnmower
4 hours - $30 per use
8 hours - $50 per use

Each unit will be returned full of fuel, or a fee of $5 is withheld from the deposit.


I am going to go with option four. I am not sure how this will go. I am fairly sure he will become irrate, but its worth testing the waters.